She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
