tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
