I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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