people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
