I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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