I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
