i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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