Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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