I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I love you. Go after that dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
