I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
