I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
