I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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