I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
