if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
