When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
