Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
