This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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