We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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