I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
