Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
