I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
