Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
only if we run a train.
done.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
