Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
