dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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