He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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