soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
