If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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