dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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