i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
