I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
