Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
