If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
