this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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