I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
