Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
