Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
