How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
