the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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