Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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