I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
