I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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