idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
