I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
