I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
