I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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