overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
