there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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