Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
