i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
