Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
