He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
