So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
