No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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