i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
