My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
