idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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