My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
