I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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