We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
