I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
