Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm really busy with my period
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