Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
