I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
