Plan B is the new Plan A
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
