i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
